RIP Penny

Ever since we got penny spayed a few years ago we knew she may not live the 15 years Jack Russell's usually do. The vet found growths on her uterus when he took it out, we never got a biopsy on them because it was so expensive and we figured she'd show signs if she was suffering. My dogs had been getting a little chubby, so a year and a half ago my family upped their exercise and controlled their food intake better. Lucy (her mom) dropped a lot of weight and looked great but penny never lost that weight in her belly... we figured she probably had some growths in her belly because she should have gotten smaller. Since Christmas we noticed a few big lumps on her belly and a small one on her hip. We had never been able to see or feel them until then...I tried telling myself that it may be the last time I saw her when I left, but I never fully grasped it. Shes always been extremely hyper, more so than her mom. I always figured the tumors were benign since she had never been slowed down. 

A month and a half ago she started showing signs that this was not true. She started slowing down, limping and overall decreasing in energy. My Dad bought some special vitamins that have worked miracles with some dogs in this condition. We were hopeful but they didn't work. I talked to my Dad today and he told me they will be putting her down tomorrow night. I can't believe how sad I have been over this. I haven't lived with my family or dogs for almost three years. You'd think it'd be easier to say goodbye. I just wish I could see her one last time... I have been skyping with my family the past few weeks and was able to see her that way but its just not the same. Shes always been my little puppy.

Just barely in September Pen had gotten bit by a baby rattlesnake. Her whole neck had swelled to an immense size within 20 minutes. The Anti-Venin is like 3,000 bucks so my Dad had called to tell me they were going to put her down. That dumb dog lived through it amazingly enough. Most dogs do not. Especially from baby rattlesnakes.. they haven't learned how to control their venom yet. I balled my eyes out that night and called Chris (who was my bf at the time) at like 11:00pm after he had already said goodbye and was at home. I could barely talk on the phone haha. He said he would come over right then. I told him not to but he didn't listen. I am so glad he didn't. That night after having been so back and forth on whether I should break up with Chris or marry him, I had my answer. Looking back to how much I had hurt over a dog may seem so silly to some people. But he understood. She was my baby and has been since I watched her come into this world. Chris just stroked my hair, and said everything and anything to make me feel better. He listened to my endless stories about penny all night. And also immediately recalled scripture verses that tell us we will see our animals again.Who does that?! He is so understanding and I guess Penny helped me see how amazing my future husband was that night. For a week straight I had called to make sure Pen was okay since the Vet had told us it could take a few days till they really knew if she would live or not. I can't believe she made it. I do believe the venom sped up the growth process for these tumors though and weakened her immune system.

Things my dumb dog did:

• 3x she has attacked a porcupine, and each time my dad removed every quill. There were hundreds each time. We had to wrap her up in a towel and I had to pin her down and hope she didn't bite us when he removed them. She definitely tried. The worst part was seeing them in her mouth and eyelids. There were so many in her mouth she couldn't close it. We kept finding random quills in her skin and around the house for weeks after. I will never forget my uncle Josh saying we should just put her down as he was pinning Penny down so my Dad could take the quills out. He couldn't believe how many quills she had in her and didn't understand how much we loved that dumb dog.
• Both our dogs have been sprayed by skunks multiple times. I don't even know how many anymore. I'd guess about 5. And that smell sticks to everything for quite a while.
• She bit our mail man. Multiple times. I don't know why she hated him so much. While in Utah our mail man got really good at whistling for them and they would run out and bark until we got to the door. She always bit at his ankles and held onto his pants a few times. Meanwhile Lucy would circle him and bark. I'm sure he just loved delivering to our house.
• Anything she sees that moves she attacks. She does not play well with other dogs. She has attacked quite a few dogs that are far bigger than her! We had to get her a muzzle when we took her on walks. She literally goes in her own world when she sees a dog and can't listen to anything else. If she sees a dog on walks and can't get to them she immediately attacks Lucy!
• She of course tried to bite the baby rattlesnake.
• She attacked a frog and immediately spit it out and then started foaming at the mouth. Haha
• Shes been picked up by the pound multiple times. Both her and Lucy sprint away if they accidentally get let out. If they don't get picked up by the pound Lucy will find her way back to us and we always pray Penny is following her or else she never would. One time the pound found her barking in one of the sewage gutters off the side of the road haha who knows how she got down there.
• Lucy was a great mouser. Everytime lucy would catch a mouse Penny would shred it right away. Penny tried catching the mice but it was lucy who ended up getting them.

Things I want to remember about Pen:

• If penny is sleeping and you accidentally bump her she will growl and look at you like you did the worst thing in the world to her, then she will either hop off whatever she was on or walk away. 
• If you walk in the house and don't greet her right away she will sit down near you, staring and make a weird growling noise and throw a tantrum and slam her front paws into the ground over and over, then she will sneeze because the growling tickles her, then she will spin around in a circle on her butt. She also does this while we are eating at the dinner table or if she feels she isn't getting enough attention.
• How ADD she is. It was so hard training her. She was so stubborn she wouldn't do any tricks unless a treat was involved. But if a treat was involved she would get to excited and wouldn't be able to think. So we'd get a treat out for her and she'd go through every trick she knew. 
• My favorite trick I taught her was "Please." She'd get up on her hind legs and move her front paws up and down as fast as she could. She could stay on those hind legs for quite a while. It was easy to teach her this. I saw her doing it one day when she wanted my sandwich that was on my dresser and tried to get her to do it over and over again, which she did.
• Watching her play in the hose is so funny. Lucy loves it and could do it all day everyday. While we would do it Penny would join in here and there to try her turn at attacking the water but she would get so frustrated she would do a high pitched growl/bark and either attack lucy or try attacking the hose I held. Penny would end up walking away multiple times while playing in the hose because she hates getting wet.
• When her and the other puppies were born my friends and I would always lay them on their backs on our legs with our knees up and would tickle them to sleep. That is pennys favorite thing, to be tickled on her stomach. She will come up to us and go in beg position and a lot of the time will just throw her body backwards and expect us to catch her so she could get her tummy rubbed.
• Penny had puppies my Junior year in high school I think? She had 4 puppies. I felt so bad when she had them she definitely did not have as easy of a labor as Lucy. I honestly don't think she knew what was happening when she had her first one! Once she had all her puppies she was a nervous wreck haha. She didn't understand why they were always crying. She started picking them up with her mouth and pacing the room. She was so concerned it was so cute and funny. She would also huddle them up in the corner of her box and sit on them haha it took her a few days then she became a really good mommy. She was very protective of them. Lucy was a lot more relaxed but Penny took a while to warm up to the idea of us holding them. When we were she kept running back and forth between her pile of pups and the one we held and would nudge it and try to take it back to her pile haha. It was really cute.
• I loved how she was so cuddly. She would always want to cuddle. She would also always cuddle right up to my face too. She only licked when she wanted to which wasn't often or if we said, "kisses." 
• I loved how she would keep running with me no matter how tired she was.  
• I loved how she always had to be in front of lucy and I when we walked
• I loved how when I came home and yelled "Hello?" to see if anyone was home she would start howling like she was mimicking the tone of my voice which would get lucy to howl in the highest weirdest bark noise.
• I loved how eager she was about life she was always excited and happy and she loved being around her family.
• I loved how she always knew when I was sad and would cuddle up to me and try to lick my tears away.
• I love how she always stands or sits underneath our feet while we were in the kitchen. Someone would usually end up tripping over her. She lived for food.
• I loved watching her attack baileys stuffed animals she was constantly trying to hump baileys big pink bunny.
• I loved how she reminded me of a kite when we walked she would never stop moving and would just constantly go back and forth.
• I loved how tough she thought she was when she saw a huge dog
• I loved how she would have to be touching me when she slept, and it was usually in between my legs.
• I loved her tiny little tale (my dad cropped her tale when she was born) it would always wag so fast back and forth and her butt would move along with it
• I love how she would lift up one of her back legs when she would run, especially on walks
• I love her beautiful markings
• I love how I could always tell which mood she was in. She was a very moody dog. She'd get jealous, angry, anxious, happy, ADD, excited, frantic, needy, impatient, bossy. She was always hyper and had so much energy.
• I love how she will just jump up on someone when they are sitting and stare at them till they pet her. 
• I loved how she would let me hold her like a baby and was always so trusting of our family.
• I loved how she would rarely listen to us but when we said "treat" she'd be the first to come.
•  I loved how she would take 10 minutes to get comfortable with a pile of blankets, and rearrange them with her teeth and paws. 
• I loved how she would have to pee wherever lucy peed.
• I loved how she would lay in front of lucy and wait for her to lick her and when lucy got annoyed and walked away she would get a look on her face that was so sad and confused haha.
• I loved how she would whine and growl for attention and twist back and forth on her back. 
• I loved how she would scare me to death because she would randomly bark once because she thought she heard something.
• I loved when me, dad, or bay would chase eachother around the house laughing and screaming how she would always attack the person who was being chased
• I loved how she would beg for food and acted like she had never eaten a day in her life. 
• I loved how she helped me clean up dog poo by eating it haha
• I loved how everytime I tried to brush her teeth she would hit me away with her paws
• I loved how sad she looked during and after bathtime
• I loved how everytime I looked under the bed she would try to lick my face and roll around in front of me and try to back me up from looking under there.. because usually everytime I looked under I'd find something chewed up and she would get in trouble.
• I loved how when she got in trouble she would look sad and sorry while I was scolding her then as soon as I turned around she acted like nothing had happened.

I couldn't make up my mind whether to put I love or I loved. I love her and always will. I have many nicknames for her that I want to remember which include: puppy, pen pen, p-p-pen, puppy, baby puppy, dog, lil dog, and lil girl. And of course when her and lucy are together I call them, the dogs. After my cousin Jacob. When he came and visited one time he loved our dogs so much and would run around the house saying, the dogs!

Tonight after skyping with my family and seeing penny I know she needs to be put down. She lived for food and hasn't even been eating treats the last few days, she didn't sleep last night and just mopes around with barely any energy and stares off in space. Shes too uncomfortable to lay down and yelped yesterday when she was being pet on her belly. Shes not herself and doesn't look very happy. She is definitely not the hyper and energetic little dog I saw at Christmas. She will be in a better place and definitely a lot happier. She was part of our family and I love her so much she will always be my baby puppy and I know one day we will be reunited. Its funny to think about my Mom threatening to get rid of her so many times haha it was always after something she did that was bad. I knew she could never get rid of her. :) It is cool to see how much Penny really meant to my mom and dad. She was a pain in the butt but we all loved her. And I know Bailey feels the exact same way as I do... This blog is mainly for me to look back on in the years to come and remember Penny and how much she means and meant to me. I think it is also a good way to grieve and say goodbye. I know there are some people out there who won't understand the love I have for animals and my dogs. I'm sure they will read this or part of it and roll their eyes. But Penny means so much to me, I love her. I think I will always feel bad that I wasn't with her when we put her down or at least to say Goodbye. Dogs will always be a part of the family to me. They all have separate personality's and Penny sure had a big one she just came in a small package.

 Goodbye Pen Pen, I love you, thank you for being there for me, and for making my life better and happier. Thank you for helping me see how much I loved and needed Chris and for opening my eyes to how amazing he is.

My baby puppy

Lucy and Penny

Playing in the pool haha she hates it and of course Lucy is loving it

Penny chewing a bone

Sleeping

Sleeping

Penny and her puppies

Pennys Muzzle...haha the first time I put it on she didn't move

One of Pennys Puppies, Tilly